Ever wonder what kind of mad scientist brews up those wacky paytables in video poker variants? I mean, who sits down and thinks, "You know what? Let's make a game where a wild deuce pays like it’s got a personal vendetta against your wallet!" I’ve been diving deep into the bizarre world of wild card video poker lately, and let me tell you, these oddball paytables are like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube blindfolded while riding a unicycle.
Take something like Deuces Wild, but with a twist—like those "Bonus Deuces Wild" machines that seem to pop up in the corner of every casino. The paytable looks normal at first, right? Full house, flush, straight, all the usual suspects. But then you notice the wild deuces start acting like they’re auditioning for a circus. Four deuces might pay 200x your bet, but hit a natural royal flush, and it’s like the machine just shrugs and tosses you a measly 25x. Compare that to standard Deuces Wild, where a natural royal can net you 300x or more. Why the stinginess? It’s because the game’s balancing the chaos of those wild cards by tweaking the payouts to keep the house edge sharper than a tack.
Then there’s Joker Poker, where the joker’s like that one friend who shows up to a potluck with a single bag of chips. It’s wild, sure, but the paytable’s got this weird obsession with two pairs. In some variants, two pairs pay better than a flush, which is like the machine saying, “Congrats on your mediocre hand, here’s a cookie.” I ran some numbers (because I’m that guy), and in one Joker Poker variant I found, the expected return was 99.2% with perfect strategy, but only if you account for the joker’s probability of showing up roughly 1 in 11 hands. Mess up your hold strategy, and you’re bleeding coins faster than a slot machine on a bad day.
What’s wilder still are these hybrid games—like Super Times Pay with wild cards thrown in. The paytable’s already a labyrinth, but then they add multipliers that hit randomly, turning a three-of-a-kind into a payout that feels like you just won the lottery… or nothing, if the multiplier ghosts you. The variance in these games is bonkers. You’re either walking away with a grin or staring at the screen wondering why you didn’t stick to Jacks or Better.
My advice for tackling these quirky paytables? First, hunt down the full-pay versions. For Deuces Wild, look for the 16/10/4/4/3 paytable (that’s for five of a kind, four of a kind, full house, flush, straight). Anything less, and the house edge creeps up like a bad cold. For Joker Poker, aim for the 7/5 Kings or Better version—it’s not perfect, but it’s better than settling for a machine that pays like it’s doing you a favor. And please, for the love of all that’s holy, study the strategy charts. These wild card games aren’t forgiving if you’re guessing which cards to hold.
Anyone else stumbled across a paytable that made them question reality? I saw one the other day where four wilds plus an ace paid more than a natural royal. Felt like the machine was trolling me. What’s the weirdest variant you’ve played?
Take something like Deuces Wild, but with a twist—like those "Bonus Deuces Wild" machines that seem to pop up in the corner of every casino. The paytable looks normal at first, right? Full house, flush, straight, all the usual suspects. But then you notice the wild deuces start acting like they’re auditioning for a circus. Four deuces might pay 200x your bet, but hit a natural royal flush, and it’s like the machine just shrugs and tosses you a measly 25x. Compare that to standard Deuces Wild, where a natural royal can net you 300x or more. Why the stinginess? It’s because the game’s balancing the chaos of those wild cards by tweaking the payouts to keep the house edge sharper than a tack.
Then there’s Joker Poker, where the joker’s like that one friend who shows up to a potluck with a single bag of chips. It’s wild, sure, but the paytable’s got this weird obsession with two pairs. In some variants, two pairs pay better than a flush, which is like the machine saying, “Congrats on your mediocre hand, here’s a cookie.” I ran some numbers (because I’m that guy), and in one Joker Poker variant I found, the expected return was 99.2% with perfect strategy, but only if you account for the joker’s probability of showing up roughly 1 in 11 hands. Mess up your hold strategy, and you’re bleeding coins faster than a slot machine on a bad day.
What’s wilder still are these hybrid games—like Super Times Pay with wild cards thrown in. The paytable’s already a labyrinth, but then they add multipliers that hit randomly, turning a three-of-a-kind into a payout that feels like you just won the lottery… or nothing, if the multiplier ghosts you. The variance in these games is bonkers. You’re either walking away with a grin or staring at the screen wondering why you didn’t stick to Jacks or Better.
My advice for tackling these quirky paytables? First, hunt down the full-pay versions. For Deuces Wild, look for the 16/10/4/4/3 paytable (that’s for five of a kind, four of a kind, full house, flush, straight). Anything less, and the house edge creeps up like a bad cold. For Joker Poker, aim for the 7/5 Kings or Better version—it’s not perfect, but it’s better than settling for a machine that pays like it’s doing you a favor. And please, for the love of all that’s holy, study the strategy charts. These wild card games aren’t forgiving if you’re guessing which cards to hold.
Anyone else stumbled across a paytable that made them question reality? I saw one the other day where four wilds plus an ace paid more than a natural royal. Felt like the machine was trolling me. What’s the weirdest variant you’ve played?