Oh, another thrilling night of baccarat, where my wallet gets a front-row seat to its own funeral. I swear, the cards have a personal grudge against me. Bet on banker? Player sweeps. Go for player? Tie, obviously. Anyone got a crystal ball or a voodoo charm to break this curse? I'm one bad shoe away from betting on rugby sevens instead. At least there, I can pretend I understand the chaos.