Alright, you lot, listen up. Champions League is heating up, and I’m here to smash your bookie into next week. Bayern’s going to steamroll anyone dumb enough to step up—over 2.5 goals, lock it in. Real Madrid? Overrated clowns, they’ll choke against any half-decent defense. Bet against their overhyped asses. And don’t sleep on Dortmund; those maniacs will sneak a draw out of nowhere. Take my word, or keep losing your cash like the amateurs you are.